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Words Fitly Spoken
In the book of Proverbs, ether is much advice for the family with problems as well as the solutions to those problems, if the advice is heeded. The book provides instruction on both how to give and heed the advice and counsel of God. One is wise if he receives (heeds) the instruction of God contained in the Bible. The one needing rebuke has responsibility as to the one in whom he places his confidence. In Proverbs 25.17, we read, “Confidence in an unfaithful man in time of trouble is like a bad tooth and a foot out of joint.”
One is also wise if he gives God’s rebuke. Proverbs 25 deals with “words fitly spoken.” In v. 12, we find these words of wisdom: “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. Like an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold is a wise rebuker to an obedient ear.” Notice it takes both a “wise rebuker” and an “obedient ear” to be likened to an ornament of fine gold. One without the other will be of no benefit. In 15.23, we find, “A word spoken in due season, how good it is.” We learn from this that knowledge of when to speak (“in due season”) is needed to be the proverbial “apple of gold.” Isaiah was a wise person because he knew “how to speak a word in season to him who is weary” (Isaiah 50.4). In Proverbs 26, we are shown the results of words spoken to the weary “out of season.” In v. 7, we find the following comparison: “Like the legs of the lame that hang limp is the proverb in the mouth of fools.” In v. 9 we read, “Like a thorn that goes into the hand of a drunkard is a proverb in the mouth of fools.”
In Proverbs 25,17, we read, “Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house, lest he become weary of you and hate you.” The teaching of this proverb has relevance to our words resulting in “apples of gold.” Knowing when to intervene and when not to intervene is just as important as offering rebuke rather thank throwing in our “two cents’ worth” to one who is in need of counsel. Wisdom is needed to be able to make a distinction between things that are important and things that are not important. Otherwise, our neighbor will become “weary” and will “hate” us. Solomon states in Proverbs 25.20, “Like one who takes away a garment in cold weather, and like vinegar on soda, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.” This teaches us what will result when the wrong words are spoken. In Proverbs 27.6,9, we read, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend…Ointment and perfume delight the heart, and the sweetness of a man’s friend does so by hearty counsel.” It has to do with discretion and spiritual discernment. Without discretion and spiritual discernment, one only gives his own “two cents’ worth.” An ill-advised word will only make matters worse. Unless one offers God’s counsel, damage will be done by our words.
Discretion can only come from spiritual growth and spiritual growth can only come from listening to instruction from God on an on-going basis. Such discernment helps us in learning what is and what is not important in the lives of others. It applies in marriage, in a family, and in a congregation. If we do not follow God’s advice when involved in the lives of others, then our actions can only be termed “meddling,” and only one thing will result: Our neighbor will “become weary and hate” us. The New Testament speaks on the subject of those who would meddle. They are called “busybodies” (1 Timothy 5.13). We are told they are “wandering about from house to house” and “saying things which they ought not.” They “walk among you in a disorderly manner” (2 Thessalonians 3.11). Their concern is “in other people’s matters” (1 Peter 4.15).
Laziness is a sin. Proverbs 23.14 says, “In all labor there is profit, but idle chatter leads only to poverty.” Whispering and gossip are among the things that will destroy a friendship (Proverbs 17.9). We should use gracious speech (Proverbs 22.11). Our tongues will reflect wise or foolish use of knowledge (Proverbs 15.2,28). If we study how to answer, and we will promote spiritual health among our physical family and friends as well as our spiritual family (Proverbs 12.18).
Meddling causes division among one’s natural family and among God’s spiritual family, the church. Our aim should not be to meddle, but to help. Therefore great care should be taken in what, when, and how we speak. Proverbs 16.23 says, “The heart of the wise teacheth his mouth, and addeth learning to his lips.” Proverbs 21.24 says, “He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls.” If weariness and hatred has thus far been the result of our interventions, we are meddling, not helping; we have been in our neighbors house too often. We need to stop our current involvement, be patient, and allow for our spiritual growth until such time that we can impart God’s rebuke. We need to pray for knowledge and discretion and study how to answer, so as to be a wise rebuker (Proverbs 25.12). Let us pray that such rebuke will fall upon an obedient ear. God’s plan will work if we will work his plan.
