Resources/Articles
If I Could Do It All Over Again (2)
What Do We Do With Our Regrets?
- Press your “little” self you have made as a result of your mistakes into a small pimento jar?
- Blame God for being born?
- Excuse your troubles as a busy stage of life everyone faces - mistakes included?
- Thank God for Grace?
Choose the latter point. Thank God for his mercy, love and grace that provide a way to remove the regret you do not want hanging on you. Take your sin, failures, faults, flaws, weaknesses, and regrets to him.
Repentance is the one “must” when it comes to doing it over or starting anew. Repentance is the point where you accept personal responsibility, desire to reconcile what should be done, and a renewal of relationships. Repentance simply means, “I am the reason for experiencing regret.”
Repentance leads us to the cross where sins are taken and left along with guilt and regrets. If I review the sum total of my life, will it be how well I lived up to my goals, how successfully I overcame my bad habits and sinful patters, or will it be Christ, who had no sin, taking my sin and regret, and clothing me as righteous?
What we often do with our regret is find somebody worse than we are and compare our regrets to theirs. It somehow makes us feel better about what we have done or not done. Instead, go to the Perfect One, the righteous, the Judge, who offers absolute forgiveness and grace for whatever we have done. Every day, we need to preach that gospel to ourselves and live in Christ.
When The Burden of Regret is Gone
After we have taken our regrets to the cross and obeying Jesus’ words to deny ourselves and take up his cross, what is the next step? We tell ourselves, “I am going to be better at…do better at…live better at…” Why not consider Ephesians 4.22-24: “Put away, as concerning your former manner of life, the old man, that waxeth corrupt after the lusts of deceit; and that ye be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new man, that after God hath been created in righteousness and holiness of truth.”
Changing the externals is part of the process of renewal, but our hearts need to acquire the renewed spirit that “after God hath been created.” This is not simply wishing to go back and recover or redo a chapter in your life. O yes, there are many thoughts and wishes to have done differently (e.g., loved more, been less angry, been more kind, more forgiving, more moral, etc.), but repentance and renewal means not having to live with “if only.” We cannot change the past. Our ending can be different. All is forgiven and the future can be brighter.
A 97-year-old WWII pilot confessed an enormous regret over an affair he had and subsequently leaving his wife. He was told, “The Bible says, ‘All have sinned and fallen short of God’s glory’ (Romans 3.23).” Repent and be baptized and wash away those sins, calling on the name of the Lord. He was pointed to 1 John 9: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” The veteran said, “I understand, but you don’t understand what I’ve done!” He was told, “The Bible says, ‘As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us’ (Psalm 103.12).”
All the answers this older man received regarding what to do with his regrets came from the Word of God.
When Paul, the apostle, realized the enormity of his sin, he said, “I am chief.” No one’s sin was parallel to his. His regrets had to have been worse than anyone else’s. Internal sorrow is just one price we pay for what we regret, but Paul saw his saved, present condition as an eraser to all of the regrets of his past. “Howbeit for this cause I obtained mercy, that in me as chief might Jesus Christ show forth all his longsuffering, for an ensample of them that should thereafter believe on him unto eternal life” (2 Timothy 1.16).
Regrets are terrible. They destroy your heart, your future, your influence, your life, your ability to function, and your desire for good works. All you seem to think about is what you wish you could change.
Do you have a broken, contrite, regretful spirit? Do not hold onto it like Satan wants you to do and feel forever guilty. Hold it no longer. Whatever regrets you have, repent. Let our God redeem you and build up the ancient ruins (Isaiah 61.4).
