Resources/Articles
Husbands: Are You Laughing at Her or Loving Her?
Something many husbands did when they were dating or getting used to being around a girl is poke fun at her, punch her, or laugh at all the “silly” things she did. It becomes to be a very frustrating, immature moment a girl witnesses in a boy. Although a sense of humor is a valued trait in any boy/girl, husband/wife relationship, in the long run, a woman will value being loved, cherished, and honored by her man, her husband. A continued effort by a husband to poke fun at his wife’s attitudes and behaviors never draws his wife close to him in respect and admiration.
Ephesians 5.28 says, “Even so ought husbands also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He that liveth his own wife liveth himself: for no man ever hateth his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as Christ also the church.”
The above passage should be a weekly motto for every husband. He should know the definition of love, learn it, and illustrate it to his wife. Poking fun and laughing at one’s wife is not a learned response. It happens. To love in a nourishing and cherishing way takes attention, intention, and appreciation. There is not a wife alive who would not want her husband to affirm her with love rather than jokingly recognize her lack of understanding, bad decisions, and sinful mistakes.
A husband who says he loves his wife will think of the ways he can praise her for personal attributes, her noble qualities, and her service to him. He will magnify her virtues as a wife, mother, and homemaker. He will openly commend her in the presence of others as a marvelous wife, friend, lover, and companion. She will feel to her husband as the most important woman in this world. He will not call her to laugh at her. He will call her to say, “I love you. I miss you.” He will not call to ask her what she is doing and speak down to her about how “silly” that is. He will say, “Thank you” and praise her kind observance of things he misses and forgets.
Loving your wife rather than laughing at her should take the form of personal affection and romance. Romance for a woman can mean lots of things, and sex may or may not be a part of it. Romance is not a game. It is part of the marriage relationship. A husband should not laugh at his wife’s means of romance but should enjoy the way to show it to her. It is a matter of discovery which is not supposed to frustrate a husband, but become an adventure for him. It is a fun adventure - one where you can smile and even laugh at together, because it makes your marriage better.
