Resources/Articles
Am I Really Jealous?
You have been working at the same business for several years and are accustomed to people asking you for help resolving computer issues. If anyone has questions about a computer, you always have a resolution to the problem. You do not exactly enjoy the interruptions, but you help those who need your assistance. You feel wanted. Then Kelly joins your department. You think she was a good addition to your office staff. Before long, you notice people start going to Kelly with their computer questions. At first, you are relieved to be rid of the interruptions. As time passes, it hits you: No one needs you as much anymore. You are just another member of the office staff. You honestly do not like that! Jealous thoughts rage through your head. Why is Kelly suddenly the expert? What makes her better than you? You could answer the same questions better!
Jealousy is a major heart problem. It is a tool that divides relationships. You know firsthand about its attitudes and behaviors. If not removed, jealousy leads to bitterness and comes close to anger. Here is what God says about jealousy in the Bible: “For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing” (James 3.16). Simply stated, wrong thinking produces wrong living. Jealousy or feelings of envy cause our lives to be characterized by confusion, disorder, and every other evil and vile deed. The bottom line is nothing - absolutely nothing - good comes from a jealous spirit. We have to remove it. It needs to be put away today.
Overcoming jealousy is easier said than done! Whether it is a conscious word or a thought in the back of your mind, jealousy is something we all struggle with daily. Sometimes those little thoughts that creep into our minds don’t seem like jealousy, but are they? “It’s not fair Steve gets more vacation time than I do.” “Amber’s children are so well behaved. I wish mine were obedient, so I’d look like a better parent.” “Derek just got a new SUV. He’s lucky!” “Marion got the promotion at work I deserved!” “Jasmine is so pretty. She does not know how lucky she is.”
A biblical approach, rather than a psychological approach, to jealousy will help us so much. The first thing to consider is that jealousy’s origin often grows out of insecurity, fear, deception, or covetousness. It even comes from those who experience “OCD” - Obsessive Comparison Disorder. We make more comparisons of ourselves to others, rather than to Christ (2 Corinthians 10.12-13). When we base our security on the opinion, affirmation, and acceptance of other people, and it does not occur to our satisfaction, we feel rejected or unloved or doubtful of our purpose and significance.
Start to overcome this “heart curse” by looking up all the verses in the Bible related to God’s love and acceptance. Here are a few...
But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
for He has been good to me.
Psalm 13.5-6
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go, f
or to you I lift up my soul.
Psalm 143.8
Though my father and mother forsake me,
the Lord will receive me.
Psalm 27.10
But you are a chose people,
a royal priesthood, a holy nation,
a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you
out of darkness into HIs wonderful light.
1 Peter 2.9
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.
The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
1 John 4.18
For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to ear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.
And by Him we cry, “Abba, Father.”
Romans 8.15
To Him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before His glorious presence without fault
and with great joy...
Jude 24
Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load.
Galatians 6.4-5
“Even to your old age and gray hairs, I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.”
Isaiah 46.4
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?
Matthew 6.25
Whether the onset of your jealousy is from deception, fear, covetousness, or dissatisfaction, let it lead you to the Lord rather than discontent and separation from honorable relationships with others. Do not allow their successes, achievements, or advantages reverse a good relationship and bring bitter jealousy. Battle jealousy with the truth of God’s Word. Forsake the god of self and turn to the one God who brings our hearts to “rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep” (Romans 12.15).
