Resources/Articles
What Are Your Expectations?
A couple had been married for about three months and living in Colorado. The temperature in their apartment during the winter months was about 55-60 degrees. They got into a habit of snuggling under the heavy blankets at night, forgetting to turn out the lights. Every time, the wife would ask, “Sweetheart, did you turn out the lights?”
The husband would usually jump out of bed, barefoot, turning off all the lights. One night, the husband got fed up with getting out of his “warm bed” to turn off the lights and groaned, “Honey, why don’t you turn out the lights tonight?” His wife replied, “I thought you would, because my dad always turned out the lights.” At that point, the couple stayed up for a while, discussing expectations in marriage. They soon realized that many of those expectations were imported into their marriage from the homes in which they were raised.
Each person brings a certain set of expectations into a marriage. When they are not met, a cloud of delusion soon rises above the couple, drying up any sort of dialogue between the husband and wife. But marriage is where you hammer out those realistic expectations about numerous subjects covering from what to eat to whether to sit at the table or on the couch to eat.
Think about these four important points:
- Before expecting anything from your marriage, review all the things God expects of you as a mate.
- Sit down with your mate and communicate your expectations.
- The expectations you have for marriage should be reasonable.
- No mate will ever fulfill all of your expectations in marriage.
When the expectations we anticipate are not fulfilled, we usually say, “I thought he/she would...” This is usually a sign of not applying those words “leave” and “cleave.” We forget it does not only apply to actually moving in to live with another person other than your parents. There are some things about your previous home that may not be expected in your new home. A fat-laden meal of mashed potatoes, roast, and pecan pie may be replaced with a green salad, tuna fish, and yogurt. A new pair of shoes every two months may only be obtained once a year. Some things you let your dad or mom do for you, you must now do alone, because your mate may not know how to do those things your parents did.
There is one expectation every young man or woman should anticipate if they are choosing a person to marry who loves God. They should expect that person to be faithful and truthful, kind and loving, gentle and patient, honest and forgiving. This is what God expects from each of us, so why should it not be expected from others, especially the one to whom you say, “I do.”
