Resources/Articles
Never Threaten To Leave
But God demonstrates His own love toward us,
that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8
Some time ago, God gave us the wonderful privilege of helping a couple resurrect a marriage that seemed to be beyond hope. Their commitment to Christ and to each other was real, and they grew steadily in their relationship.
However, one day the wife came to us discouraged once more about their marriage. Apparently, she and her husband had reached an impasse. Each time they argued about the problem, the husband threatened to leave.
One of the ten commandments of marriage, if there were such, should be: Never Threaten to Leave. This threat begins a crack, which creates a crater in a marriage relationship. It erases security and increases fear.
Your mate needs to hear words of commitment and acceptance from you, not just once, but many, many, many times. Tell your mate often how much you love him or her in spite of the problem.
Each time a difficulty arises in your relationship - which is a misunderstanding or clash of wills - remind your mate that you intend to remain loyal to him or her. Assure your mate that your commitment will not change. Inserting these truths into the heart of your spouse will become the reinforcements you both need to work through difficulties in your marriage. Your marriage covenant reminds you to persevere during those moments of conflict.
Also, tell your mate occasionally you would choose to marry him or her again. On occasions when your mate does not feel really lovable and believes you do not love them either, give them the reassurance as stated in Song of Solomon 6:3: “I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine.”
If you believe your marriage was worth entering, it is also worth keeping. Write a letter to your spouse telling him or her in as many ways as possible why you would marry him or her again. READ it to your spouse. Pray to God with appreciation for giving you your mate, no matter what problems you face. Reaffirm your covenant of marriage with God. As Robert Louis Stevenson said, “Make the most of the best and the least of the worst.”
