Resources/Articles
Modesty Revisited
A young college student became interested in the subject of modesty because she did not like the bathrooms in the college she attended. She attended a college where boys and girls live in the same dormitory building. The students vote by floor on whether their common bathrooms should be coed. The vote went n the coed direction because no one wanted to be thought of as a prude. When this female college student objected, she was told by other students that she “must not be comfortable with your (her) body and sexual identity”. But she was fine with her body; she did not like their bodies being in close proximity to hers.
Many of the problems we hear about today – sexual harassment, date rape, young women suffering from eating disorders and who say they have no control over their bodies – are all connected to our culture’s attack on modesty. Since the 1960s, men have expected women to be casual about sex, and women begin to feel as though they do not have the right to say “NO!” The more liberated the women the less ground on which to stand and defend their morality and virginity.
The first step toward reviving respect for modesty in our culture is to strike at the myths which undermine it. The first myth says modesty is Victorian. What about the story of Rebekah and Isaac? When Rebekah sees Isaac and covers herself, it is not because she is trying to be Victorian. Her modesty was the key to what would bring them together and develop a profound intimacy. When we cover up what is external, we send a message that what is most important are our hearts and minds. It separated us from the animals long before the Victorian era.
Another myth about modesty is that it is synonymous with being “goody-goody”, “puritan”, “prude”, or “old maid”. That was the point of the movie Pleasantville. It was a black and white movie that turned to color when the kids enlightened their parents about sex. The truth is, modesty is the opposite of puritan or goody-goody. Modesty invites and protects real love.
The third myth is that modesty is not natural. Modesty, we are told, was a historical invention in a society where men could be sure that children born were their own. Therefore, modesty is society-driven, and it is possible to get rid of modesty altogether. Why then did Adam and Eve make coverings of fig leaves when their “eyes were opened” (Genesis 3:7)? Was it a society decree or a natural response? A recent medical discovery of a hormone, oxytocin, can be protected by modesty. This hormone creates a bonding response when a mother nurses her child and during intimacy. Modesty protects this natural emotional response from being vulnerable by virtue of immodesty. It strengthens a relationship God approves and is not allowed to be “freed” promiscuously to the world.
The fourth myth is that modesty is only a concern for women. We are where we are in part because the feminine role has changed. The masculine role has followed suit. It was once a faithful vow to have one woman for life, and to be protective of all women. Modern feminists deceive themselves by expecting men to be gentlemen to them when they are not “ladies”. Men who promote “scoring” with women are just as bad when they lament that there are no modest women around anymore. Modesty is a problem for men as well as women (Matthew 5:27-30). Why do men watch and drool over women they have no right to touch (1 Thessalonians 5:22)
--Excerpts from AFA Magazine, 6/01
